Saturday, January 10, 2009

I am Defeated

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i just stood there, head down, and let the remote make contact with my cheek. i was so done and down and defeated by all this that i didn't even care when the cheap plastic cracked into bone and made my gums bleed. i was surrendering to the things that keep me awake at night, to the people who tear me apart, to the people who keep me alive, to the places i've never gone back to, to the things i've said that i could never take back.

there was never anyone to tell me to keep fighting.

and now, i'm giving up on so many of things i felt strongly about. i have many regrets that i never acknowledge or speak about. there are people i never said goodbye to, places i've never been, places i've never returned to. there are moments i relive, and moments i'd love to forget. there are people i've never forgiven. all of it means nothing now, so i yield to weight of the world and let things fall where they may.

i'm not going anywhere, but i'm done playing with fire.

1 comment:

tgrs said...

you look tired. take a nap!